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Personal web log of Donovan Burns Gentleman Haruspex. Resident of Salt Lake, Utah (and sometimes Las Vegas). Concerns mostly humor, science, photography, and art matters. My original work can be found here: latest & earliest.
Nov 1 '12
theworstthingsforsale: I have obsessions. Maybe I even have a lot of them. But I try to recognize that I’m getting too concerned with something and just let it go. I don’t buy a special tool to get the last bit of toothpaste out of the toothpaste tube. Here’s the deal with consumer products. They are labeled “to delivery” which means that in every 6-ounce tube of toothpaste, there’s actually more than six ounces inside. The average user can squeeze six ounces out, leaving some residue inside, but surely getting their moneys’ worth of toothpaste. Same with deodorant and hairspray. They put a little extra in there so you get what you paid for. If you can’t help thinking about your lost toothpaste and you buy a torture device to angrily force the residual tenth of an ounce of fucking Colgate out of the tube and into your crazy mouth, then you don’t need an $18 toothpaste-tube wringer. You need to talk to a professional, or maybe just a mirror to look into, so you can ask your reflection if you’re being unreasonable. But I need this for paint, because a tube of Cadmium Red is too precious to waste.

theworstthingsforsale:

I have obsessions. Maybe I even have a lot of them. But I try to recognize that I’m getting too concerned with something and just let it go. I don’t buy a special tool to get the last bit of toothpaste out of the toothpaste tube.

Here’s the deal with consumer products. They are labeled “to delivery” which means that in every 6-ounce tube of toothpaste, there’s actually more than six ounces inside. The average user can squeeze six ounces out, leaving some residue inside, but surely getting their moneys’ worth of toothpaste. Same with deodorant and hairspray. They put a little extra in there so you get what you paid for.

If you can’t help thinking about your lost toothpaste and you buy a torture device to angrily force the residual tenth of an ounce of fucking Colgate out of the tube and into your crazy mouth, then you don’t need an $18 toothpaste-tube wringer. You need to talk to a professional, or maybe just a mirror to look into, so you can ask your reflection if you’re being unreasonable.

But I need this for paint, because a tube of Cadmium Red is too precious to waste.

333 notes View comments (via theworstthingsforsale)

  1. oliverthedragon reblogged this from dancingwithpoles
  2. dancingwithpoles reblogged this from bunnstar
  3. noiretorrentielle reblogged this from bunnstar
  4. bunnstar reblogged this from eyestumblin
  5. askryder356 reblogged this from akumyo and added:
    wow i want
  6. therapsida reblogged this from dignified-and-old
  7. dragonpyrope reblogged this from crystalclaraty
  8. tundramoose reblogged this from nict55
  9. dislocatedpenguin reblogged this from crystalclaraty
  10. nict55 reblogged this from crystalclaraty
  11. crystalclaraty reblogged this from lovinglydull
  12. luciouswayne reblogged this from oranginavagina
  13. stoneclaw reblogged this from thisoverhere
  14. thisoverhere reblogged this from orelpuppington
  15. veronicanicolefennell reblogged this from pickmeback and added:
    Amen!
  16. randomsyhn reblogged this from closetextrovert and added:
    I have a dollar store version of this I got two for a dollar. It’s not nearly as fancy but probably just as effective.
  17. journeyofthepinkelephant reblogged this from binhcao
  18. closetextrovert reblogged this from ghostferry and added:
    I’d get one. Maybe not for $18, but I’d get one.
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